I sit here, in my dirt encrusted clothes, with matted hair, black stained flesh...and that crazed stare in my eyes, the look that makes you 'normal' people turn and cross the street. I sit here and talk to myself...or so you think...because you don't see, because you don't want to or can't see what I see; because you don't want to know what I know.

You smile and smirk; you dare mock me with your know-it-all attitude? It really doesn't surprise me. Mystics have never been accepted. ‘Mystic’; you ask? Yes, and in this day, in this age...there are many. Even though you mock, misunderstand, even though you even hate us. You need to know us, the poor, homeless mystics of the streets who are waiting for ‘the change’...me, I am but one, and this is my simple but very true story.

My God, it was a weird day all around. I had been laid off from work, about 120 of us were let go...and I had to find something else to do, quickly. I had a little in the bank, but rent, food, the alimony and child-support. Hell the severence and unemployment just wasn't going to last long at all.

Yet, riding the bus just wasn't going to cut it...looking for work, hell, if I had two appointments or if a headhunter called wanting me to go to an interview, I might not make it. No, I had to start looking at taking the little savings that I had to get a car or something. So that explain's how I ended-up riding the bus up Camelback and down Scottsdale that afternoon...I was shopping for a car or truck, I was just looking for some transportation.

Some blind girl got on and I had to move, since I was sitting up in the front seat. The bus was falling behind schedule as some guy in a wheel-chair got on and couldn't fix his chair right. None of this was their fault, I get a litle uncomfortable around them, you know...the disabled? Then though, I feel like a horses ass for minding, I mean, I have my sight...I have my legs, I'm mobile. So, all these ridiculous thoughts are bouncing around in my head when, finally, we're on some street corner near this place where they claim (in an ad in the paper) that they have these super deals. They claimed to have cars that were ten thousand dollars priced to move at five thousand. Okay, I'm a sucker and there's one born every minute...or so they say. But that's not the point to this story.

I guess that I got off the bus about a block away from the dealership. Stopped by a corner market and bought myself a soda. Then, I just casually walked over to the car lot, where I was sucked in to a maze, grabbed by a salesman named Bob and shuffled to a table with credit forms. I told Bob that I didn't want to have anything to do with credit. 'I just to see what you have for five thousand dollars'; I insisted. 'Okay'; he offered cheerfully enough: 'But I still need your name, address, phone number.' Bob was efficient if nothing else. I could have argued, I could havd asked why he needed this for a cash customer...but I gave it to him, I told him everything he wanted to know.

'What kind of car do you want'; he asked. I told him that it didn't matter that much...but Bob wouldn't hear of that, feigning concern he inserted: '...but we have to know what you need, if you have kids, haul, what would be perfect for you?' It seemed almost right, almost reasonable, so I answered: "I don't know an extended cab truck or maybe an SUV." Bob went off to check and see what might be available. I looked at the balloons and other decorations, it was taking a while for them to find 'just the right vehicle' for me.

Eventually though...Bob found his way back to me only to tell me, regretibly how they didn't have any SUV's or pick-ups in that range, but that five thousand would be a great down payment on something else! He cheered-up when he said that...not that I would think Bob and this dealership were doing the old 'Bait and Switch' on me...no, because that would be illegal, right?

Okay, I admit it...the storm clouds seemed to hover over me and it was affecting me. I got depressed. I thought about hitting a bar, a massage parlour or something that might cheer me up, boost my ego, make me feel better or just forget my troubles a little. Walking off Scottsdale Boulevard, I don't know what the name of the street was, I guess I just roamed a little aimlessly until it started getting dark. Lost in thought, I don't know if I walked back into Phoenix or into Tempe...maybe it was still Scottsdale. I didn't really know, or care for that matter.

In the darkness, I didn't take much notice of the neighborhood, the lack of buildings and light. Arizona is still like that, one minute crowded city, the next minute...empty lots, open spaces. But I did notice one place, a building with a little light. And, as I approached I saw the sign..a dirty sign all splashed with mud. It was a club, a French place...from what I could read, I thought the sign said something like: 'Che Mort...something' maybe it was Morty or Morty's or something. Hell, as I walked in I expected to be greeted by some guy named Mort. I couldn't have been more wrong.

The door made an eerie creaking sound as I opened it and just as creepy a noise when it closed slowly behind me. I swear, somehow a lock clicked or something, but just as my paranoia surfaced, an incredibly beautiful, scantily clad brunette...at least that's what I think (it was so dark), brushed up against me as we passed. Her body rubbing mine, her firm breasts pushing hard against my sweaty arm...I thought it was a liitle odd, I mean she was hot, but felt a little cold, I really mean it...like brushing against a cold can of beer. Still it's not like a man thinks rationally at a time like this. In this datkened cavern she was looking pretty good and I'll be honest, I'm no saint and like I mentioned earlier, I was looking for a good time anyway. As she went in another direction, I could swear that I heard her purr...and it was pretty arousing!

Still another disco-bunny-like creature stepped out from the dark shadows and whispered as she passed: "I'd do you." She smiled as she glided by, I guess that I did back. I wasn't sure if I really heard what I thought I heard, but I was really starting to like this place. Maybe this was going to be a good night after-all! ...And I was even more sure that this would be a great night when another woman, a Latin woman with fantastic eyes brushed gainst me and I swore I heard her whisper something like: 'I could suck you dry!'

Both these women were fantasy girls, the kind of women a guy like me just sees in magazines, only on TV and to coin a phrase...in my dreams. This guy Mort sure seemed to have a hell of a joint, and I was still in a hall with some stairs down. Only the hall! No, I was wrong, these girls were fantastic and by the time I hit the bottom of the stairs, there was actually a little bounce in my step. I don't think that I felt that good in ages.

The bar itself was marble, the booths were set into almost cavern-like holes in the wall. It was nice yet odd, charming yet just this side of eerie; as if someone had set up a bar in a church or something. It was odd, bur looking around I saw the silohette of a woman here the shadow of another there, I saw a sliver of a beautiful face over by that booth, but nothing could prepare me for her...the goddess at the bar.

I still wasn't sure what kind of place this was, I mean a bar, a dance club, maybe even a whore-house! Well, in my dreams, it could have been, I admit, I hoped it was and the only thing that I was a little worried about was walking out of here without the five thousand dollars I had contimplated using for a car. Easy come, easy go, I mused with a smile of my own as I sat near the beauty at the bar.

I was mesmirized and barely muttered an order for a beer, some old country, German beer, I think they had a beer called 'Binding,' yeah, that was the German beer I ordered. A bitter brew, but as I sipped the cold, carbonated liquid it eased my thirst. I actually hadn't realized how thirsty I was, until this moment, until the ancient liquid brew washed down my parched throat while I eyed a woman I could only fantasize about.

Her hair was raven black, blacker than jet black or midnight black, it was that kind of black that you could almost see a hint of blue, a whisper of color, something mysterious and beautiful in. Her skin was, as my eyes adjusted, an olive tan, almost perfectly between white and brown, almost 'delicious' looking and flawless. Her Spanish eyes were brown, dark brown pools...almost black and drew me closer, drew me in, they drew me to her very soul. He lips, plump and moist as she called out to a lovely female bartender: 'Pour me another bloody Mary.' I watched her tongue form every letter of the words she spoke as it touched and caressed her lips and upper mouth. '...And heavy on the blood'; she ordered as our eyes met. She smiled, her teeth lighting up the room and I had to smile as well, never having heard a woman ask for more tomato juice in her drink before, at least not like that.

'So you are new here'; she inquired with a cat-like grin. This super model-type creature got up slowly walking towards me. I was frozen in, well, dare I admit it? Okay, it was fear. I mean a woman like this was on magazines, in movies, for the rich guys; not for me. I felt the every molecule in my body tense up and my back push up against the bar, forcing me to my feet. 'A gentleman'; she purred as she came closer to her prey. I didn't say anything, nervously stumbling around and trying to be as suave as I could.

Somehow, she mounted the seat next to me and somehow I perched mine. I have to admit, most of the night was a blur as I nervously drank one beer, than another and a few more. I didn't know how thirsty I really was, but the walk, the heat, the sun and not to mention my life in general. I guess it was all of that and then throw this gorgeous creature into the mix, what can I say? But the more I drank, the more we started to chat. I was fixated on her deep brown eyes, but couldn't help looking at her angelic face and those lucious pouty lips...so red, so wet. When she talked I watched her lips, her bright, perfect teeth, her tongue sensually enunciating every letter.

Sitting so close, I would glance down a little into her cleavage. Her breasts so perfect, firm and flawless and her legs, they were something men only dream about. Her skin tight and olive, her thighs so proportionate they called to you. I tell you, I don't know if it was lust, passion, love or maybe the beer, but I started to think about having her and completely possesing her. I started to think that it was actually possible, even for a man like me, especially on a night like this.

She giggled and boldly asked what I was looking at. I looked away, trying to be non-chalant, but one look into her eyes and I knew that she knew what I wanted. I was a man after-all, and this was a woman who you could tell, men, all men wanted. You could tell that she knew it as well, it was her confidence, the way she carried herself, but it was also something that she blew off, something that wasn't important to her. If it was, she hid it well, very well.

We talked more, she was smart...especially about the past and history and myth. She drank one bloody mary for every beer, always reminding the bartender to keep it 'heavy on the blood.' Occassionally, the tomato conconction would drip a little from the corner of her mouth, at first she'd catch it and dab it off, then, I boldly dabbed my handkerchef and wiped it. Her head jerked back a little in surprise, and then she grinned a toothy smile and again complimented me. Her head tilted and she seemed almost puzzled, her eyes sparkled and again she whispered: 'What a gentleman.' It almost felt like she eyed me then, looking up and down my body as well. I know, just my ego...but I have to admit, it felt really good.

She seemed a little old fashioned, now that I think back on it the club too...the music, it was like back in the 70's with disco music, even the decor. There was a faint smell too, I think her perfume, the other girls perfume...it covered the smell, but every now and then I would catch a wiff of something, maybe it was behind the bar, maybe something didn't get cleaned-up or put away and was rotting, it smelled a little like rotten eggs!

Still, I would lose myself in her deep brown eyes or she's bend closer and her perfume would make me forget everything or she'd smile and I would float above the room in my own private heaven. Finally, she pulled back and smiled demurely and asked a question I never thought she'd ask. In almost a whisper, she asked: 'Would you like to go back to someplace a little more private?' I almost fell off my stool! But now I was sure, this had to be a whore house for someone like this to want to be alone with someone like me, so I responded as confidently as I could: "I don't have much on me." 'You, you think I'm a prostitute'; she stuttered as her eyes grew in disbelief. 'I, I, I...'; I was struggling for a come back, a response, something to remedy what I just said, but all I could say was: "Oh my, I, I mean, I meant, I didn't mean it like that!" She laughed, he eyes narrowed and she answered: "Keep your money, I'm not some hooker Johnny...I just enjoy your company."

'Johnny?'; I thought, how did she...'Come with me'; she said as she hopped off her stool and took my hand. There wasn't time to think and I'm not sure how many beers I had...but her hand felt so soft and smooth, her perfume was making me high and I was looking at the finest ass I had ever seen as we walked back to a cavernous hall, turning left here and right a little further down, it seemed all so deep and far and confusing with turns and steps and more turns. I had no idea how far we went or how deep we were when she stopped in front of a door. The door was wooden, it was like an old, no an ancient castle kind of door that you'd see in a movie about some king. She stopped and pulled me to her, I took her in my arms and we kissed long and hard and passionately. Her body pressed hard against me, her hips grinding into me...it went beyond a kiss, we were practically having sex in the deep, dark passageway!

I was kissing, biting, fondling and busily, greedily making her mine...sex now was going to be primordal, like an animal I wanted to mark her as mine deep within herself...leaving my DNA as a dog leaves his scent and the need for me to do this was irreversable. I wanted her to open the door, I wanted her so bad, I needed her or I would go insane from the heat and passion that was burning me in ways that I didn't know a man could burn. Somehow, as if she read my mind, I heard the door open, and we stumbled into her room.

I wasn't here to sight see, but in flashes I saw in the darkness the decorations of some Victorian room. Her bed sheet and pillow were white and silken. Then she stuck her tongue in my ear and nearly drove me mad! Consumed by our shared fiery desires we pulled and pushed and tugged and ripped until we were both naked and until I was deep inside this creature, this beautiful creature right out of my most imaginative sexual fantasies and dreams. We both kissed and licked and bit each other as if created from the same mold for the same purpose, as if we were both made for this very moment of unbridled lust!

My only surprise now (after the sheer shock of being with her in the first place) was that even in the depths of her womanhood, deep within her wrything body as I pumped my very existance into her...she wasn't hot like most women, she was cold. I knew she was im passioned, I knew she shared my desires, she was wet, she was almost in convulsions, but her body was cold to the touch, yet I continued and couldn't stop, not now, not for anything!

She begged me to keep going, she begged for more sex and I delivered like I had never done before. She never stopped and if I withdrew she kissed and licked, she bit and sucked and I'd sonn be deep within her again, riding her, pumping her, becoming one with her through the night. We must have had sex countless times that night, like I said, it just never stopped...not a moment to rest, not a moment to think...not even a moment to talk.

By morning...and down here, I didn't know it was morning, I was exhausted, my muscles ready to cramp from all the exercise and all the possitions...by morning, I was ready to collapse and sleep when I finished our last union. As I felt my own body convulse and hers met mine, as I errupted and filled her with the last drops of my inner essence, she wrapped her beautiful legs tightly around my back and milked me...her moist vagina squeezing my still throbbing member until there was nothing left inside me and I swore I heard a bone in my body crack. I don't think it did...and I didn't feel it, but I swore I heard it and I swore it was in my body somewhere around my neck!

I collapsed, she collapsed and we both managed to say something about how fantastic this night was, how much the other made us feel, we both said all the right things...and then I said that I had to go. 'To what'; she asked as I lay next to her...bathed in my own sweat, huffing and puffing and barely able to breathe or talk. I held out my hand and finally managed to pant out the words: 'To look for work...I, I, I'm laid off and looking for work, I have to go and try to find something.' She smiled a little and nodded her head as if she understood, but you know women...I don't think she thought I was telling the truth.

I wanted to ask her name, but by now, it just seemed like I should have known it. I thought it would be rude. 'Ophilia'; she offered with another smile. 'What?'; I asked as I turned my head to look at her again. 'Ophilia, I thought you might like to know...my name is Ophilia'; she offered. I looked up at a dark ceiling and thought about the coincidence, but that's what it was, that's what it had to be. I turned and we kissed each other, it wasn't so passionate, I was exhausted, but it was tender and sensual, it was a beautiful kiss.

Then I got up and dressed in my torn clothes. I went towards the door and she got up. "I'll need to show you"; she offered: "You'll never find your way out of here without me." We kissed again and she took me through the caverns, the halls, the stairs...it was still dark, this place was timeless. Then, we came to the door of the club and she gave me another kiss, the goodbye kiss, a loving kiss and our last kiss. I paused and stumbled and finally asked: 'Do you have a number?' 'No'; she answered with a sad look. I opened the door and saw the brilliant flash of sunlight. I turned and Ophilia was gone...I stepped outside and the door slammed shut, I heard the door lock itself or maybe she locked it...I wasn't sure, but I started to walk away.

I looked down at the sidewalk rethinking what I did, what I said, I should have talked more after, I should have made a date for later, I should have...then it hit me, I'd have to go back again tonight! I was in love and I had to see her again. Smuggly I lifted my head and looked back with a smile, I had to get the address, the name, the...my smile faded and I felt horror to see that the 'club' was the back of some masoleum in the middle of the old cemetery!

Walking back, I witnessed and old man come up with a hose. He started spraying off the mud splashed wall and mumbling to himself something about how he didn’t understand. Shaking his head, he kept repeating: ‘Every night those kids do this, every damned night, every night…’ I stepped up to him as he revealed the letters…'Che Mort...something' wasn’t Morty or Morty's, it wasn’t ‘Che’ anything and a pounding memory, French, maybe Latin or Spanish, but I seemed to remember something, in one of those languages, maybe in all…’mort’ had something to do with death!

It was an inscription and not a sign, it was a tomb and not a club, and it wasn’ Mort or Morty as a name, but as the mud came off…it was a foreign inscription with something about ‘…mortalité…’ There was more, a lot more and I tried to read it as the old man suddenly cursed at me and started spraying me with his hose!

‘Fucking bumb’; he yelled: ‘Get the hell out of here or I’ll call the cops!’ I looked down at myself and saw my clothes, ripped and torn, dirty and muddy as if I had slept in a hole! In a hole? In a grave! The shock, the fear, the horror and confusion, I didn’t react to the man or his hose or the water, instead, like a fool…I just ran! I don’t know what direction, I don’t think I was thinking of where. I just ran, I just wanted to get away.

Finally (and God only knows how long I ran), I couldn’t run any more, I couldn’t stand, I just collapsed and I think I blacked-out. It was a busy street with people passing in cars and walking by, finally I heard someone ask: ‘Hey mister, you okay?’ I opened my eyes and saw people standing around me, strange men, women and children..I knew no one and couldn’t explain what had happened, I mean everything, this whole story…it’s just crazy. If I you had to explain, would you? I thought about it, I thought about what to say, and all I could come up with was to grumble and groan and finally strain with: “Yeah, okay…I’m okay.” I struggled to my feet and walked to a corner with a bus bench, I sat there and got on the first bus, paid my fare and took a seat.

I slowly came to my senses, people took pains to avoid sitting next to me…I really did look like some dirty, homeless bum. If I had thought about it, it would have been slightly amusing. People stood in the crowded aisle rather than sit near this filthy man, my torn clothing made me all the more menacing and dangerous looking, I’m sure. But, I wasn’t think about it, wasn’t thinking about anything except what had happended last night, what I had done. Then I had to transfer to another bus and another before I got off near my apartment.

Fortunately, I passed no one I knew and only two strangers whose faces turned pale and who stopped to stare rudely. My hands were shaking as I unlocked and opened my front door. I got in and closed the door, I locked it and then I sat against it as if unconsciously afraid that maybe there was something, someone behind me. As is unknowingly I was afraid that maybe something was following me and that given half a chance, it might come inside my home…as if it might just come and snatch me from my life! Maybe it was death that I was afraid of, maybe the girl, maybe it was a monster or, to be honest, maybe I was afraid that I was just losing it, going mad, insane, crazy!

The sun set, and I was still sitting, still afraid, still pressing against the door. ‘This is silly’; I told myself, explaining away the day…I could have fallen, hit myself on my head and just woke up there after a bad dream! That was it, I was sure of it! I fell. It was dirty and I ripped my clothes. It was just a dream! I was almost disappointed in a way, I mean the answer was so simple. Finally, I gathered the strength and I worked my way up (at 43 years old, my bones and muscles seemed to fight my efforts and it hurt).

Taking off my clothes, I tossed them in the trash instead of in the hamper…they were, at best: rags. Naked and sore, I stepped into my shower; the hot water hit me and streamed down my flesh and stung, apparently I had some cuts and sores as well. Eventually though, the water and soap felt good and I languished in the shower.

Mentally and physically I was feeling much better as I dried off and walked into the kitchen. I pulled some roast beef, mayonnaise, lettuce, a cucumber, an onion and tomato out of the refrigerator. Got some bread and made a sandwich. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I had ‘inhaled’ two of the sandwiches and drank three sodas. Emotionally exhausted, but satisfied with my own explanation, I thought I’d hit the sack and get a good night’s sleep.

I stepped back into the still steamy bathroom and brushed my teeth…and as the mirror cleared…that’s when I saw it. I paused, I looked, I dropped the toothbrush and stared into the reflection! I was cut and bruised as I knew I was, but the marks, the two marks on my neck. They were punctures! I closed my eyes and I saw her face. Two punctures on my neck, just like in those movies, the really bad vampire movies with ham actors and big breasted women that I used to watch with my father. Two bite marks that destroyed my life.

Days and weeks passed, two months before I was evicted. I walk passed the masoleum, I sleep near the cemetery…but now when some people pass and stare, I know it’s only because I am homeless and they don’t know the truth as some mock and make fun of something they don’t or can’t understand. When someone calls me a homeless bum, I know that they don’t know…what they can’t know.

There are times when I feel the powers already. There are times when I see my future, like when, to some people, I’m actually invisible. I’ve seen them look through me or passed me. There are times when I don’t eat your food, or drink your liquids…feeding instead off a rat I might catch, sometimes a small cat…their meat raw, their blood running! Yet no one really knows as I sit here and wait, as I wait for the change to come over me.

Over the years, I have become a kind of mystic as I lay in the dirt and filth of society on the street. Wise in ways you can’t know, knowing things you don’t believe in and awaiting the day the change will come that will make me immortal as a vampire in the shadows of your world and feeding off you as that girl in the ‘club’ fed off me on that weird day! …And you don’t even realize this world is beyond your grasp…and, maybe the homeless are more than you think, more than you can imagine!

Created: May 09, 2001r.
Last Updated: May 23, 2005r.