This is the story of a wicked soul, a witch actually, a wicked, evil witch to boot! To the poor wretches damned to an eternity in hell, she is known as the devil's wife. To the people, unlucky enough to cross her path here on earth, her name, her wicked and evil name, is Mary Elizabeth Brainerd!

Late at night, on dark and starless skies, Mary Brainerd rides on a broomstick carried by thousands of tiny, ugly demons past this house and that. She scans the horizon carefully, looking for an open window, listening for the cry of an unattended infant, or the hushed whispers of little boys talking when they should be asleep. 'Little babies are so tender'; she thinks. 'But little boys are good too'; she smiles at the bargain: 'Not to mention, two for one!' Her horrible, frightening laugh echoes throughout the valley below, setting off car alarms, making dogs bark, and curdling milk in refrigerators...

Once, a long time ago, the wicked and evil witch, Mary, beguiled and cast a powerful spell over a mortal man she wished to possess. He was young and handsome and strong and most of all, he was good. It was important that he be good, because evil always wants to possess and control what is good. She would look into his blue-green, hazel eyes and see the good in his heart and Mary wanted to destroy him. She made herself pregnant, knowing that this man, this poor, stupid, mortal man would marry her, falling for her tricks. "Don't you pity me?" she would ask over and over again.

"Don't marry her" his parents said. "Don't marry her" his friends said. "Don't marry her" the priest said. But, this good man was too foolish to listen, so, as luck would have it, very bad luck that is, he married the wicked, evil witch, Mary. Taking pity on the mortal, even the witch's mother whispered in his ear: "You shouldn't have married her."

A beautiful baby girl was born to the witch and her mortal husband. The baby girl was good, like her father. This made the wicked and evil witch Mary Brainerd very mad and jealous. She tried to keep the father and the daughter apart, she tried to use the daughter against the father. But, the father and the daughter were too smart for the wicked witch to have her way, and they would never be apart for long. "I can't wait to leave her" the daughter said to her father. The mortal man loved his daughter so much, he didn't tell her all the problems the witch made in his life. Instead, he swallowed his pride and tried to tell the daughter: "She loves you," or "She's your mother, you need to be able to talk to her." But the daughter saw all that was evil in her mother.

When they were still together, they would take trips...passing a big house or a nice car, the witch would frown and grimace and moan in a shrill voice: "Why do they have that?" Then she would demand: "Why don't we live like that?" The man tried hard, he worked at a job he hated, he worked overtime and went to school to better their lives, but there was never enough and the man was miserable. Her friends would sell their souls to buy something they couldn't afford, and the witch wanted the man to sell his soul too! "Why don't we have what they have" she would cry, consumed by her own greed and avarice. Finally, the man had to leave, because in this country, there is a law against killing evil witches.

The mortal escaped with his life, but the witch would not let him take his princess with him. The longer the man was away from the evil witch Mary, the more he realized how much she had sucked out of his life. The mortal grew stronger and kept in close contact with his daughter. Yet he knew, somewhere, somehow, the evil witch Mary was up to some great and terrible horror!

Only after he showed the witch where he lived could she cast her greatest spell of all. The witch cast a spell to destroy his very life. She lied to her friends, she lied to anyone who would listen, then she lied to the mortal and told him things like: "They twisted my words," or "They made me do this or that." The mortal was nearly destroyed. The mortal was nearly killed. Then, by the grace of God, with the help of an angel, and with the strength of his love for his daughter...the man came up from his ashes, still not knowing his destiny.

A heavenly angel, in the form of a woman tried hard to heal the mortal. Another beautiful child, a son came into the hands of the mortal. Still the mortal fought his destiny. Still, the mortal did not know.

The handsome son and the beautiful daughter gave the man strength and this infuriated the witch who wanted nothing more than to destroy him. The man would never let the witch close again, because he sensed the truth, that if she ever got near again, she would suck the life out of him. If she ever got close again, he would die. The evil and wicked witch Mary saw the wisdom with which the man was being blessed and she got madder. Dark and menacing clouds formed quickly in what was otherwise a clear and beautiful sky! Scores of lighteningbolts flew through the electrically charged air! Deafening claps of thunder exploded in the tense silence! The witch swore he would pay and she sent hapless servants in the form of lawyers to attack him. "You will pay" they told him: "We will make you poor and homeless!" "We will rob you of hope and opportunity" they laughed: "We will rob you of every dignity!"

The forces of nature and man came down hard against our hero. Yet, something made him stand-up. Something made him fight back. Something about his son and his daughter. Something about the angels who have helped him from the day he was born. Something about the God he believes in. And the witch grew angrier, she stomped and she snorted, she yelled and she cried. The witch looked into his eyes and she still saw the blue-green goodness she wanted to possess, but she also saw the fire in his soul, and this made her afraid. The fire made her very afraid!

God, and all his angels and saints looked down from heaven and they smiled. The mortal’s grandparents, his aunts, they all looked down from heaven too, and they were proud. Even Mary’s mother looked down from heaven, whispering to her husband: "He knows!" The mortal man finally saw the witch for what she really was...a vile, ugly, short bag of pure evil. The mortal man finally understood that this evil and wicked witch killed anything that she touched. The mortal man remembered her magic words as she cast her spell: "Don’t you pity me?" She had repeated it over and over, her magic mantra: "Don’t you pity me?" And, at this moment, whatever little of the spell was left was completely broken. ‘POOF!!!’ The more powerful magic of good, the magic that comes directly from God, the magic we all have in our hearts and souls was accepted by our hero.

"I love you daddy"; his little girl told her father. "Me too"; a healthy three year old boy screams up at his father. "I’m sorry"; a team of lawyers plead in a kind of repentant musical chorus after they realize the evil they’ve brought on this innocent man. The laws of God and man were changed in an instant, it became legal to kill evil, wicked witches! The mortal, good man that he was, went out in search of his evil ex-wife...

Stirring a cauldron of hot soup, the evil and wicked witch Mary Brainerd looks up and sees our hero. "Chocolate soup"; she says, referring to its dark color...she cackles a laugh and pulls up on the ladle: "Want some?" A baby’s head floats up from the ‘soup’ of fresh, hot blood! Without a thought, the mortal grabs a knife and stabs Mary in the chest! Once, twice, thrice, and he stabs again, but nothing happens! Mary laughs at his feeble yet furious effort: "You have to stab a witch in her heart!" Again she laughs, sure that he will never find her tiny, withered, lifeless heart. Her wicked cackles echo throughout the valleys and canyons and streets of Los Angeles. She tries to attack the mortal man and bite him! She tries to sink her razor-sharp teeth into him so that she can suck his blood, his life out of him! He stabs at her chest again and in an instant, her eyes bulge and she gasps! Finally, the wicked and evil witch Mary dies, her body melting into a puddle of sticky, foul smelling goo. A hundred-thousand-million twisting-squirming maggots appear and drink the goo dry...her soul descending into eternal darkness, dispatched by man and God to burn in hell!

Hell almost didn’t accept her. Then, she cast her spell on the devil himself - flattered by the blasphemy of wedding himself to a creature with such a sacred name, and now, she is his unholy wife. By day she tortures all the countless souls that suffer eternal damnation, by night...like on this night, tonight, she looks for babies and little boys and girls to chop up and serve to her husband, Satan. So, close all your windows, watch out for little babies, and don’t talk when your mother says to sleep, or the wicked and evil, unholy wife of Lucifer, the Queen of hell, Mary Elizabeth Brainerd may get you!

Created: October 29, 1999r.
Last Updated: May 23, 2005r.